unexplainable love.

These aren't really going to be my own thoughts... I'm reading "Soul Cravings" by Erwin McManus right now, and I wanted to share something that caught my attention...

"The truth of the matter is that we're uncomfortable with God. We're disoriented by the way he loves.
We want God to love us for an endless number of good reasons.At the same time, we find ourselves nervous before him because he sees right through us and knows everything that isn't lovable. He tells us that he is our place of rest and acceptance and unconditional love, yet we cannot reconcile this love. We know who we are. We know all that is unlovely within us. We wonder how we have become worthy of such love, and that's what worries us - we know we're not. So we run. We run from God because he sees us best; we run from God to escape our own sense of unworthiness; we run from God because we are certain that the closer we come to him, the more guilt and shame we will feel.

It's just too hard to believe that if you come near to God, you will find yourself not drowning in condemnation, but swimming in compassion.
Jesus called to all who were weary and who found their souls exhausted to come to him and find rest. He is telling us that God will be for us our place called home.
We run from God because we long to be loved and we have convinced ourselves that the One who is most loving could not and would not embrace us.
We run from the One our souls crave."

This is a reoccuring theme in my life... never being able to fully grasp how God could REALLY, deeply love me.

Not if he knows me, the real me. Not if he had any idea of my pride or envy or selfish ambition...

and yet, despite knowing my messed up, junky inmost being, God loves me with a love that I could never have thought possible - a love that will never cease to amaze me.
My favourite verses are found in Ephesians 3:17-19 : "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. "

What an amazing life I can live in the undeserved and precious love of my Lord.

- J

09.09.09

Ode to my Daddio.
Dale Bradley Saip - born September 9th, 1959.

This post is about him.

My dad is now fifty years old, and I thought it would be appropriate to share a couple of thoughts and some fun pictures in celebration!

First of all, I'm very grateful to my dad for the years he spent coaching me - not just in softball or hockey, but in life. I have always known that my dad loves me dearly, and wants the very best for me - and because of that, I count myself very blessed.

My dad also knows more people than anyone I know... I remember as a child we would go out for dinner or to a movie and there would be a handful of "acquaintances" that would approach him at one point or another... we kids would always ask "who was that?" to which he could usually give an answer...

Dad also belongs to an extremely entertaining clan... family get togethers with Uncle Grant and his family, Uncle Barry and his family, and the "grandma-ma" are always an absolute hoot.

I will also add that my dad has many titles, dad, chairman, vice-president and coach - he is also one of the most genuine "cowboys" I've ever met.

Basically, I love my dad.
I'll throw in some pics to entertain you all...

my own glee.

So, I’m officially addicted to Glee… after only one episode.
I think it’s because I miss that aspect of who I am… singing, dancing, acting. I miss the way it used to feel to be on stage, even just in rehearsals, because I felt like I really belonged their… like God had blessed me with this passion for something I was fortunate enough to pursue.
But that was a while ago.
I’m so thrilled to have experienced a multitude of loves: hockey, softball, painting, writing, dancing, running, reading, photography, teaching, camping, etc., but there is nothing I’d rather do more than sing and act.
Back to business – musical theatre – I’m GOING to do it again… maybe not today or tomorrow… but soon. Very soon. I feel this stirring in my soul… maybe the Lord will open doors for me to return to the stage… and in the midst of it all, create deep, lasting relationships with fellow cast members where I can show them the love of Christ through loving them just as they are…. I don’t know if that makes sense, but sometimes the theatre can boast quite a cast (no pun intended) of unique individuals with varied life styles. They don’t want some goodie-goodie Christian coming in to judge/condemn them… because that’s garbage. So, I’ll follow my passion with an added bonus of emanating God’s love for them. I like that.

Well, this was a mish-mash of thoughts.
Watch “Glee”, I love it.

my dear friend...

My eager friend has left his subtle fingerprints across a day that is not his own.
A scent, one smell - a memory. "Back so soon?"
But no. Just a hint, in jest, before retreating - almost undetected - into the August midday.
A shade, a hue, has caught my eye - a leaf anxiously embracing my dear friend's splendor.
A deliciously majestic auburn, shaming it's neighbors in appearance.
But this poor, beautiful leaf will be the first to fall... a leader for the myriads to follow.
"You're too early, dear friend", and I know he agrees as the wind catches my hair.
"A couple more weeks, then?"...and I know he's gone again.
But soon, as time dances away another season, he'll return.
With ferver and passion he'll paint his canvas in rich golds, intermingling reds, oranges and browns - a stunning work of art.
But his welcome is never as warm as the world which he creates around us.
A sigh, at first;
a mourning time over the loss of another sweet season who left us much too young.
in this sad state we sit, as my friend labours, unappreciated, to remake the world around us.
He knows his time will come...
And then, before it even seems he was here at all, he will be the one dearly missed.
I've missed you, my old friend. Welcome back.

"time flies"

And the world spins madly on…
And on.
And on a little bit more.
It’s the middle of August.
Before I know it, I’ll be hugging my siblings goodbye as they venture off to Briercrest…
I don’t like the thought of that…
but I guess they deserve their turn to be hugged goodbye instead of always doing the hugging.
And Kyle will be back in classes – buying books, writing papers, absorbing tidbits of info
(because who really absorbs it all? Be serious).
But things won’t change much for me… which is new.
Fall has always consisted of new beginnings, (new outfits), new adventures…
But not so much, this year.
I love my job, it’s just a strange feeling…
Growing up.

I look forward to buying books, learning things, hopefully finding a stage with a spotlight where I can play make-believe in front of an audience again.
But until then, I’m content.
… a strange feeling, growing up.

I want to learn.

so... I want to learn about photography. I want to figure it out... so I will.


Shannon - if you read this, thanks for taking the time to patiently explain the different settings to me. I really appreciated that.



Here are some of my favourite's (so far)...

Ode to the "Rom-Com"

I find it appropriate to write a blog solely devoted to the fabulous world of romantic-comedies... or girly movies. May I share my favourites? I'll start with some classics...

8) Sleepless in Seattle - wow. They don't even SEE each other the entire movie and your heart is just pulled RIGHT in! Major props to the ever-lovable Tom Hanks.

7) When Harry Met Sally - Once again, thanks Meg Ryan. How cute is this? Friends finally figuring out that they are meant for one another. Dang.

MORE RECENTLY...

6) America's Sweethearts - LOVE John Cusack. Seriously. I love him. haha. This movie is just... funny, wonderful, once again with the "finally figuring it out!" Great timing julia roberts!

5) Notting Hill - who HASN'T dreamt of meeting a major movie star and falling madly in love? It's always a shame when your hollywood lifestyle pulls you apart - but there's nothing quite like the moment when Julia is asked how long she'll be in England and she says... "indefinitely".

4) The Wedding Planner - "you saved... my shoe". Hell ya, he did! Matthew McCounaghey, thank you for showing me the importance of only eating brown M&M's... LOVE it!

3) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Day - how hilarious is this? "Princess Sophia"... "Benny boo boo boo!" Kate Hudson is so fabulous in this... and SO gorgeous! Jealous. Once again, the rom com king, Matthew McConaughey - let's get a round of applause...

2) Never Been Kissed - Drew Barrymore. QUEEN OF THE ROM-COM... I don't think I've disliked a single movie she's been in. Never been kissed is just... wonderful. I love that she can be an idiot, look unattractive and still be awesome. How brilliantly endearing... the baseball field scene at the end just SLAYS me everytime.

AND THE NUMBER ONE, MOST FAVOURITEST GIRLY MOVIE OF ALLLLL TIME?!

1) Ever After - Might not even count as a Romantic Comedy, but I don't care. The perfect Cinderella story... and I could almost quote the whole thing. "I will not yield!" "then you don't deserve her". I want to BE Danielle duBarberaque (or shall we say Nicole duLancre?)

So there you have it... I would watch them all RIGHT now if I had the chance!